I started my design career in fashion, for Calvin Klein. I remember feeling how unfair it was that good design and beautiful fabrics were limited to the privileged and vowed to spend my career designing for the mainstream.

Moving from New York to London, and true to my word, I designed for Marks & Spencer, Miss Selfridge, French Connection, Principles, Asda, then settled into trend and colour for TU @ Sainsbury's.

I loved the eight-week turnaround, the fast pace of meetings, reactive sourcing, and quick decisions. How utterly naive to think this could end well. The amount of clothes one company churned out was enough, but multiply that, and it’s no surprise we are where we are.

Now, twenty years later, I see the same patterns happening within interiors.

Interior trends were always slow, taking years to slowly trickle down from trend shows and famous interior designers before hitting mainstream. But now, social media has fast-tracked the trend cycle, and what would’ve taken years now only takes months.

The pressure to make our homes look relevant, perfect, designed feels at an all-time high. The constant onslaught of sales pitches hidden behind ‘helpful’ interior design advice, or your favourite influencer obsessed over a new product that they handily ‘link below.’

Our homes have become just another commodity. The perfect opportunity to make money for someone else through the continuous launch of new products to make any of our recent purchases feel dated quicker than ever. What was Spring’s hottest look feels tepid by Autumn, and each new drop is designed to unconsciously make us doubt ourselves. Flaunting the replacement in our faces, zapping our confidence to make us feel stupid for choosing last season’s lamp or cushion, let alone still having it in our homes.

But it’s okay, because these, I like to call them instant interiors, are made cheaply and feel disposable for a reason, so you don’t feel so bad for replacing the £30 cushion or lamp, because it didn’t cost that much. But where do they go? They don’t just puff into thin air.

This has to be the most unscrupulous business model there could be, but also the most profitable, and it will continue to benefit if we keep giving it the power. Instead of letting an industry dictate, we can stop letting it doubt our own ability in choosing things we love for our homes.

I know following what everyone else is doing is easier, safer, but we don’t really need anyone else to tell us what to buy; to be fair, we don’t really need to buy anything that frequently. But if we do want to buy something, we shouldn’t let the fear of getting it wrong outweigh the joy and creative process of choosing something we’ve found ourselves and love.

To break the cycle of buying frequent updates, where you can buy pieces that you can keep for years. And I don’t only mean vintage or expensive brands. I have an H&M home cushion cover from seven years ago that I still love and is going strong. Check the quality to see how long you think it will last. I’d go with the rule that most things that aren’t used daily should be able to last years and ideally your lifetime, then still be in good enough condition to pass onto someone else.

Some things we can do if we are buying anything:

• If you need to buy anything that will be fixed to your home: flooring, kitchen, windows. Go with the mindset you won’t be replacing… ever.

• If you’re buying furniture, invest in pieces that you love and will last. Could it be passed down to your children or someone else? Buy with intention, look after it, then pass it on.

• Take your time. Use your wise mind and create some distance between it if you’re unsure; take a walk, leave it in your basket, put it on hold. Don’t rush.

• Choose things that tell your story and share a little about you, not someone else. You will love it more if it’s personal.

• Unsubscribe from email updates and unfollow anyone who pushes instant interiors.

• Be proud when you ignore the latest product launches.

• Know that making a home has absolutely nothing to do with trends.

• Don’t ask an interior designer/influencer for details of anything they are subtly selling.

Instant Interiors: Fast fashion for the home. Retailers mass-produce passing interior trends quickly and cheaply, through frequent new releases to encourage consumers to treat homeware as temporary and disposable.

Back in February, I wrote this piece about trends and to only buy into them with your eyes open. Only six months later, and silver has hit the high street, arches have already been poo-pooed, the lived-in look has been made commercial and dark wood is on the rise.

I’m going to say it: interior designer Heidi Caillier has a lot to answer for. I’m sure invisible cash registers ting every time Caillier releases a photo from a recent project, as they know it will inspire a plethora of products perfect for convincing their customers this is what they now need in their homes. I’m also guessing it’s only a matter of time before she has her own products to launch that can be copied.

Working within trends for the last 20 + years, I can see the patterns of the gentle nudging of things into the opposite direction. So, if you are ever unsure if you’re buying into a trend, see if it’s flooding your feed and if you can notice the opposite slowly appearing.

Zendaya’s ghost lashes are a brilliant example. You couldn’t get anything more opposite to big fake stick-on lashes if you tried.

I write to help reduce any shame or pressure around our homes. I’m pointing out looks that will start to look dated because of the nature of instant interiors, not to tell you you made a mistake or to shame you. I do hope you chose everything in your home because you loved it.

Because if you love something, you won’t care. If you do enjoy buying into the latest looks, I’m sharing this to help you make an informed decision and be aware it could look dated quicker than you’d hope.

Other opposites I think we’ll see more of from interior designers/influencers/retailers:

We’ve had long curtains with an exposed pole for quite a while now, and I’ve seen shorter curtains and pelmets making a strong return.

Long curtains and pole by Studio McGee - Short curtains by Cote de Folk. Pelmet by Beata Heuman.

Veiny marble, I feel bad saying this, and I really hope anyone who chose this was because they loved it, and not because it was cool, because it won’t be cool for much longer. Wood and stainless steel worktops will replace it… sorry.

Veiny marble worktop and splashback by House Nine Design - Wooden worktop by Heidi Caillier.

I’m so happy to see this one go - tonal over-styled shelves will be replaced with the things bookshelves are made for; books, ornaments, life. Just gutted it’s now a trend.

Clean, organised, overstyled shelves by Amber Lewis Design - Messy, overcrowded shelves by Heidi Caillier

Kendall Jenner’s floral sofa will inspire many a sofa over the next few months/years.

Plain white sofa by Studio McGee - Patterned sofa by Heidi Caillier

Pattern won’t be limited to sofas. Get ready for a clash of pattern and say goodbye to tonal. Patterned curtains will be commercial, and wallpaper will be big. Wallpaper is expensive, difficult to put up and a pain to remove; please go into this trend with your eyes WIDE open.

Tonal colours and prints by House Nine Design - Mismatched and clashing above and wallpapered hallway below, both by Heidi Caillier. Wall panelling will most likely fall out of favour soon and be replaced with wallpaper.

Other opposites to watch out for:

Banquette seating = Round dining table

Painted kitchens = Dark wood or chrome

Built-in boot rooms = Freestanding furniture in hallways

Bathroom vanity = Pedestal sink

Black and white checkerboard tiles = Natural stones

Zellige tiles = Small mosaic tiles 90’s vibe

Brass taps, handles = Silver

Sludgy paint colours = Cleaner, bright tones and gloss will be back, especially now that Caillier posted the image on the left of a current project.

Trends

Wellness will be a big trend and packaged up as something to buy, but you can’t buy calm; please don’t fall for it. Feeling calm comes from within; work on that before you buy a candle, ‘cosy chair and cosy blanket’

I think Art Deco will slowly influence homeware. Tiffany-style glass shades could replace pleated fabric shades at mass-market level.

As always, I encourage you to do whatever you want with your home. And the best thing you could do if you need to buy anything for your home is give yourself a social media ban for two weeks leading up to the purchase. I guarantee you’ll buy something completely different without the influence.

Thank you for reading!

Claire x

P.S. The temperature of the room I’m writing in is 30.5 degrees. If there are typos or it doesn't make sense, please let me know if I have below… I apologise; at least you know I haven’t used AI!

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I nearly managed to stay Instagram sober for a whole year.

Seeing the same performative images over and over gave me the ick. You know the ones. The 'My analogue year’ filmed on iPhones or the ‘slow morning ’, cross-legged, drawstring pants, beige Birkenstocks while holding an artisan coffee cup, which always looked like the opposite of slow, as I’m sure taking the shot from that angle was not easy or stress-free. I needed a break. I logged out.

But now I’ve caved, and I’ve logged back in. My hiatus is over.

In my defence, I went back onto Instagram mainly for interior research to see what not to do and what us ‘normal’ people are being told our homes should look like.

I’m not sure if the break has made the fake even more obvious, but Instagram interiors inspo feels more performative and toxic than ever. The most shocking thing I’ve discovered is that alongside our jobs, looking after our family and ourselves, we’re expected to make our homes look like Heidi Caillier designed them, but without actually hiring her.

The pressure to use paint in intricate and clever ways, mix four or five prints like a pro, design cabinetry like a skilled joiner and curate a room like a team of ten, then change it and start again in six months is overwhelming.

But don’t worry, there is a new wave of interior design ‘experts’ flooding Instagram that can help you.

No, they have never met you or know anything about you or your circumstances.

No, they have never been to your home.

No, they don’t know how much money you have available.

But that’s okay; it doesn’t matter. They’re more than happy to tell you where you’ve gone wrong with every decorating decision you’ve ever made in your home.

They all have very strong opinions and tips and are more than willing to share them with you. They kindly break key interior trends down for you; yes, admittedly, even after pausing several times to take notes, you still won’t be sure what friction or tension means, let alone how to use it in your home.

They share sophisticated colour combinations with confidence and ease. Yeah, I know, mixing lime, pale lemon and electric blue or purple, burgundy and citrus lime is not easy to pull off, but hey, your room will sing.

Don’t be too offended if they poo-poo your furniture or curtains, and don’t even get them started on your lighting or the size of your rug. No, they haven’t been to your home.

Be warned, they are judgy and rude, and they will most likely induce high levels of anxiety and instil deep feelings of failure, but apart from that, they're reeeaaaally helpful, I think?

I’m sure most have bypassed their soul-breaking design assistant era. Where they fetched 10,000 coffees, cut a mountain of swatches or tidied the sample cupboard on repeat, then hid in the toilet and cried… or was that just me?

I know I’m at that age when everyone looks young, but some look very young with a suspiciously high number of followers.

One in particular has only posted 16 times, but has 18.9k followers. Another has 275 posts and 108k followers. Maybe it is that easy, and they are that clever, and maybe I only have 3.5k followers because my 361 posts are a bit shit.

I think the important thing to remember is these ‘experts’ aren’t necessarily right. Downloading an interior design app, buying a fluffy microphone from Amazon, and some fake followers does not make you an expert. There I said it, sorry not sorry.

My biggest issue with these influencers- yes, that is what they really are: not interior designers or design experts, but influencers- is that they are influencing how you feel about your home, how it looks and how you live in it.

It’s a toxic, yet highly effective formula, which is why so many influencers use it. They centre their content around making their followers distrust their own judgement around their homes and themselves by diminishing their self-worth.

They then position themselves as superior authorities who must be listened to. This psychological dynamic, which feels scarily close to the traits of a narcissist, creates an easy environment for selling products, and for being believed.

The truth is, influencers need us more than we need them. We are more powerful because it ends when we say.

We really don’t need any more content in our lives, but we do need to feel contented in our lives and homes instead.

Social media isn’t really the problem; we’ve just let it become one by thinking it will make us happy. But it never will. For true happiness, we need to look inside ourselves. If you’ve ever done true inner work, you’ll know scrolling is way easier.

But the more we choose distraction over growth by ignoring our own voices and listening to fresh-faced influencers who probably still live with their parents, never decorated a room, let alone an entire home while trying to keep your shit together and feed a family, the less contented we will feel and the less likely we ever will.

Your home DOES NOT need to look like it was designed by Heidi Cailler, because you are NOT Heidi Cailler, and it's unlikely you’ll ever hire her.

Be really comfortable that your home looks like it is created by you.

Whether that took a weekend trip to IKEA, or really slowly and still isn’t finished because you’re skint, or you haven’t even started yet because you have a life bigger and more important than paint colours and cushions.

Be really comfortable with how your home looks, on any day of the week, on any month of the year.

Resist the urge to ask what paint colours they used, what rug size is best, or where their lamp is from.

Stop outsourcing your creativity.

Your creativity is precious; don’t hand it over easily.

Create a home for you. Not Instagram. Not to look like someone else’s. For you.

Scroll on Social media with your eyes wide open, pick carefully what you listen to and maybe together we can stick two fingers up to rooms that could be anybody's and that nobody wants to use.

Two fingers up to books that sit proudly on a coffee table, but have never been read. Sofas that look good, but are so uncomfortable no one wants to sit on them. Shiny coffee stations but no one drinks coffee. Rows of labelled jars that are never used. ‘Cosy’ reading nooks where no one reads. ‘Collected’ brown vases that look like everyone else’s collected brown vases.

Let’s make a pact to create homes that no one else will see, only the people who live in them or the lucky people who get invited in. Be proud that they are Instagram-unworthy. Because it really is none of anyone else’s business how you choose to decorate or live in your home.

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A couple of years ago, I was invited to my lovely friend’s house for dinner. I love going to her house. She’s Scandinavian and has travelled a lot; her furniture, art, and lights are gorgeous and unique, and her collection of colourful glass vases mesmerises me every time I see them.

My contribution to the evening was to bring a side dish. I made my favourite, a goat’s cheese and pomegranate salad, using my bestest bowl, a 40th birthday gift from my husband.

The evening was fun, and as I was leaving, rather than searching through the piles of crockery for my bowl, I said I’d collect it another time.

Fast forward two days. I was upstairs at home, and I heard the doorbell. I assumed it was a parcel and they’d leave it by the door, so I didn’t rush to get it. When I did come back downstairs, I walked into my kitchen to see my friend standing there with my bowl.

“I was passing, so I thought I’d drop off your bowl.”

Panic set in!

My husband, who is clearly a normal person, had let her in and not kept her at the doorstep, as I, clearly a deranged person, would have. But honestly, who unexpectedly drops in these days? It felt as alien to me as someone calling the landline for a chat.

Horrified, I looked around my kitchen. The clothes dryer was erect with my underwear very visible on the top rack. The sink was bursting at the seams with dirty plates, cups, and bowls. The worktop looked like we’d had a party the night before, with the number of glasses lined up. The table was covered in my daughter’s latest craft project, and empty sweet wrappers were strewn over the sofa.

My lovely friend, who’d never been to my house before, handed me the bowl and looked around the room and said,

“Oh gosh, your home is lovely.”

I, of course, went on to point out the list of misdemeanours, apologising profusely, and then I’m embarrassed to admit. I walked her to the front door, opened it, and guided her out. No offer of a cuppa, no gushing thank you for the safe return of my bowl, just the door nearly hitting her on the way out.

After she’d gone, there was no hiding from myself. What the hell was that all about? I felt like such an idiot. Would she really have cared that much about the mess? No, would be the answer. She has four kids, and I’m sure she didn’t see anything that didn’t happen daily in her home.

What would have happened if I had offered her that cup of tea and, rather than showing her the door, I’d shown her a seat instead? Well, for a start, nothing bad! My friend wouldn’t suddenly ‘break friends’ with me after seeing my pants drying or dirty plates.

Looking back, I don’t think she judged me at all. She just wanted to see me, and she also knew the bowl was special to me and wanted to return it safely. But I was so busy comparing my home to hers, I couldn’t see that. I was worried it wasn’t good enough. I let my idea of a perfect life stop me from living my actual life.

As humans, we need meaningful connections, and inviting people or animals into our homes should feel natural and fun. We shouldn’t let a little mess or the feeling that the house isn’t quite ready stop us. I love this picture of Callie Coles’ kitchen. Children, a pony, chickens and a dog, free to happily roam her home. Allowing her life to do its thing without trying too hard to manage or control it.

I’m not saying we should all have ponies in our kitchens, but the bar for our homes keeps getting higher, even unachievable. The unrealistic pressure to pretend the realness of our lives doesn’t happen, that we live in a home where no one really lives.

Which is hilarious, as we all eat, go to the toilet, sleep, make clothes dirty, and forget to bring our cups to the sink. Let’s stop pretending we don’t.

The reality of maintaining the illusion, hiding our true lives behind meticulous curation, might be good to look at, but it doesn’t feel so good to live in. Keeping a home looking perfect is hard work and stressful. The anxiety it induces will overshadow the calm, together home you’re hoping for.

Enough is enough. I’m calling time on trying to keep up with the latest made-up trends, and to be permanently photo-ready. Which colours we should have, the sofa they told us to buy last season, suddenly irrelevant, the details we adored that we now feel stupid for still wanting. Scallops, we still love you. I say…

“HANDS OFF OUR HOMES!”

I used to think that if I tidied and cleaned my house within an inch of its life to look like it belonged in a magazine before anyone came over, it would make my guests feel welcome. Instead, I ended up frazzled. Anxiety sat on my shoulder throughout the entire evening. On full alert in case something appeared out of place, let’s just say the atmosphere in my home was far from relaxing.

Now, I realise that showing my house as it is, is ok. I feel comfortable, so my friends feel comfortable too. Last month, another friend popped round unannounced. The kitchen was lived-in with breakfast dishes still out, shoes left where they were taken off, and various pieces of clothing on the back of the sofa. This time, I didn’t apologise. I made us tea, moved the piles of papers on the table to the side, and we sat and chatted.

Getting older, I want my relationships to be deeper rather than superficial. It’s hard to show our vulnerabilities, but when we do and show others how we feel, they often soften and show theirs too. No one is perfect, and neither are our homes.

My relationship with my home has gotten deeper, too. I’m no longer only interested in its looks; I see so much more. My house finally feels seen and heard. Fully embracing perfectly imperfect. I appreciate everything it does for us, and it means more to me than an immaculate, dust-free version.

I haven’t got time to put how our home looks as the priority anymore. I now create a home that is a healthy balance of real life and order. I want our home to feel warm and inviting, clean but not sterile. I embrace clutter as ‘tidy mess’. I have designated places for everything, but that doesn’t mean everything is hidden away, eradicating all signs of our lives.

Plumping cushions and decluttering every week is not on my to-do list. Seeing friends, eating dinner with my husband, going to the cinema, walking the dog, spending time with my kids, and exhaling are.

Learning to be comfortable with all the things our lives create is the first step to being free of the made-up pressure, which it is… completely made-up. Create a home on your terms, not someone else’s. Invite people or ponies in, and don’t ever apologise for being human.

Thank you for reading! I’d be so happy if you tapped the little ♥️, left a comment, or shared it with someone who might like it too. And don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t already, so you don’t miss future posts.

Claire x

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I’d look in so many different places for ideas for my home. It took time, way longer than a few hours of scrolling. Devouring every issue of Elle Deco and Living Etc., pulling out pages of rooms I liked, a certain paint colour, or a kitchen handle. Revisiting pages in my mountain of design books. Everywhere I went, I was absorbing. Movies, markets, travel, exhibitions, even offices and hotels were all amazing sources helping me turn my ideas into reality.

Yes, there were trends, but they didn’t really change that fast, and we didn’t get to see how other people had interpreted them, unless they featured in a movie, a magazine or in a friend’s house. We were all left to turn those ideas into a reality by ourselves.

I still find inspiration in many sources, but I’ve gotten lazy. Though I don’t use Pinterest for design or buy anything because someone else has suggested it, I do scroll more than I look elsewhere.

The internet makes us all a bit lazy. We’re shown beautiful rooms, and how to achieve the same look with handily attached links. All the hard work fun is drained from the process. Where really the creative process is the best and most important part.

Without the creative process, we miss the fundamental element that connects us to the outcome. The personal journey of discovering more about yourself and learning to trust yourself. What you genuinely like, your values and identity. You eliminate any risks or experiments, and you don’t push yourself outside your comfort zone.

Copying a look, following a link, buying what's ’s already been validated by a thousand likes feels like a safe decision, since someone else has already approved it for you. But it also removes you from the decision entirely. And any feelings of safety or joy are short-lived.

I’ve bought into trends or must-have things myself over the years, and whenever I walked into the room and saw it, it never felt like mine. I hadn’t chosen it because I loved it, and it always ended up feeling a bit wrong or dated.

It’s hard to know what your own taste is when you see/brainwashed by the same interiors over and over a gazillion times. The constant enticement to spend money distracts us from what we love, and someone else’s opinion has become far more important than our own.

What if you trusted yourself, listened for your own approval and didn’t feel the need to look to someone else? Wouldn’t it feel good? Absolutely. Maybe a little unsure at first, but over time, you’d be more in tune with your own taste, and you'd trust yourself enough to become your own tastemaker.

Most people are nervous and think they’re not ‘creative’ when decorating their home. But we’re all creative in different ways, and comparing yourself to someone else’s creativity will only set you up to fail. Creativity is mostly down to confidence, as there really is no right or wrong. Creating opportunities to experiment for small wins will give your confidence a boost.

A few things to help build confidence and self-trust:

Catch yourself before you click. Before you press the affiliated link, come off autopilot and ask, do I even like it? Yes, it may be gorgeous, and the price is good. But it doesn’t mean it’s right for you. A little bit of self-awareness will stop any unnecessary purchases.

Experiment to boost your confidence. If you don’t feel confident in choosing for yourself, only practice will change this. Small projects can help, as the consequence won’t feel too big. Over time, you won’t second-guess yourself so much as you get comfortable with the process and choosing for yourself.

Try something simple to start. Choose a paint colour because you love it, regardless of whether it fits the rest of your home or is cool. Using a tester pot, paint something you’re happy to experiment on, an old picture frame or lamp base. As your confidence grows, you can choose bigger, more permanent pieces.

Use the Rule of Three. If you spot the same thing in three or more unrelated places within a week, it's likely to be everywhere and feel dated quite quickly. This week, I’ve seen countless images of checkerboard flooring, Delft tiles and café curtains. Great, if you already love them or are replacing originals. But if you’re considering them for a new project, maybe pause and wonder if it’s because they feel safe to choose.

Go vintage shopping. Virtually or in real life, as it’s a great way to test your taste. If you’re in the UK, Easy Live Auction is a good place to start, because you never know what you’ll find. Lean into whatever you feel drawn to. Keep checking, do I love this, or because I’ve seen it before? Start a watch list or take pictures to look back at and see what you’ve picked, and you’ll start to see a pattern of what you love.

Reduce scrolling time. Many interior designers and influencers show similar looks, making it easy to understand what’s current, but hard to see past the trend and choose something completely different. Reducing scrolling time will limit influences, leaving room for your own ideas to grow. And if you do see something you like online, get curious as to why.

For example, the similar images below are from three different designers. It could be easy to copy the whole look, but instead, maybe it’s the shape of the cooker hood, the marble or the colour of the cabinets that you like? Pick the look apart until you can pinpoint the thing you actually like, or not, about it, and follow that, not the whole look.

Look to other sources for inspiration. In my own home, as a starting point for a colour story, I choose something I love, it’s usually something I’ve picked up at an auction, a piece of art or an antique rug. Ideally, something that has a few colours within it. I pick out my main and accent colours (the 10%) and layer them in different textures and patterns. I then bring in my books, photos and ornaments all in random colours. The result is unique to me and my home.

Why should we be our own tastemakers?

Because we all have a responsibility to the planet and ourselves. We don’t need more unwanted things being destroyed or ending up in landfill. Read Kate’s brilliant Substack if you want to know what happens to our old furniture.

And because we all deserve a home that we love, and as we understand more about our nervous system, one that feels safe. Surrounding ourselves with things we have a connection to and hold memories of our lives signals to our nervous system that we are safe and we can relax.

The vase that’s moved home with you three times. The rug with a red wine stain, you remember the fun night of dancing that caused it. The mirror in the hallway that you once lifted your kids to see their little faces, who now stoop to see their reflection.

These are the things we need in our homes, and some of them, hopefully, will be passed down for someone else's memories to be added.

I wish for everyone to create a home they love, full of the things that make them feel happy and safe, all born from their own ideas and unique to them. Gaining confidence to develop your taste to decorate your home how you want takes training to find and listen to your voice. The more you do it, the easier it will become, and you won’t dream of copying anyone else ever again.

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Thank you for reading! I’d be so happy if you tapped the little ♥️, left a comment, or shared it with someone who might like it too.

Claire x

Life isn’t perfect. No home is either, and that’s ok.

Yet, somewhere along the way, we started to treat real life as something to apologise for. Sorry about the mess. Sorry, it's a bit small. Sorry, we haven't decorated yet.

You deserve to feel joy in your home without exhausting yourself to get there.

What if you stopped apologising and saw that maybe you don’t need a different home, only different habits?

Things might start to look like this:

Home feels relaxed. Not too clean or too messy, somewhere comfortably in the middle. Every day clutter, a few odd socks and shoes left out by the door are signs that you live there, and not a problem that needs to be fixed.

You use all your favourite things daily. Bedding, crockery, glasses, soap. Every day is your favourite.

You learn what you love, not what you’re told to love, and only bring things into your home that you genuinely like.

You please all your senses when choosing things for your home, not just sight.

You seek moments at home that feel good, not because they look good.

Your sofa, bed and kitchen table are your most prized pieces of furniture. The sofa for connection, the table for memories made, and the bed to rest your body.

You only pick colours because they make you happy. Ignoring trends and going with gut.

Stains and marks don’t bother you, because there is a story behind each one. You choose how you see things - a mess or stories of your life.

You see home as a safe place to be with the people you love. Not an interior design portfolio, investment, or holding spot for the next owner.

Your shelves and coffee table are full of books you have read or are reading. Not because the covers or colours look good.

You look to the people you live with for inspiration when decorating. Not Pinterest.

You have art because you genuinely love it. Not because it fits into a colour palette.

All your ornaments mean something to you.

Your kids’ art is embraced and displayed so everyone can see it, especially the artist.

You spend hours chatting, playing games, rather than hours scrolling, looking at other people’s homes.

You invite friends over even if it’s not tidy, finished or as nice as their home.

Your friends don’t want to leave because your home feels good to spend time in.

Your kids’ happiness is more important than a tidy home. The few minutes at the end of the day tidying up are worth it.

You feel comfortable taking up space in your home, your hobbies are part of you.

You consciously look at what you have rather than what you don’t.

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to read more from me, please subscribe… oh and share if you think someone else would too.

If you’d like to support my work, rather than suggest you buy me a coffee … also, I don’t drink coffee! I hoped my guide: 5 Steps To Choosing Paint Colours would be more fun and helpful for you.

Claire.x

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I’ve had the privilege of being invited into people’s homes to help them love them a little more. The countless scenarios of clients wanting to make their homes look perfect, cooler, bigger, and spending so much energy, time and money because they were unhappy with them were eye-opening.

One client lived in a huge 10,000 sq ft home; the stress she put herself under trying to maintain a house of this size was visible. She needed a team of people to help keep the many unused rooms pristine. The lounge looked and felt like a hotel lobby. Yet, the family chose to spend their time together in the smallest room in the house, as I’m guessing the huge, cavernous, pristine rooms didn’t feel so good to sit in.

Another couple who extended and extended, making rooms bigger, adding more bedrooms than they’d ever need. I remember quite late in the project, the wife asking if the dressing room would be big enough for her yoga mat. I was confused and really sad for her that she hadn’t mentioned this before. The thing she loved doing every day, which made her happy, was an afterthought. The size and appearance were their priority.

I’ve seen homeowners buy and renovate homes only to split up, move, or renovate again a year later. So much time spent on how it looked, they forgot how their relationships would play out, how they would feel living there or how their homes could create or miss moments for connection.

They had all chased the wrong thing. The most important thing in life is each other, yet no time was spent considering what they or the people who lived there really needed. Most kept looking at the flaws, hoping it would make them and their home feel better, happier if they fixed them.

I’m not saying our homes shouldn’t look good, but the imbalance between the hours, days, months, sometimes years lost renovating, choosing a sofa, a paint colour, or even a rug, doesn’t feel the same amount of time dedicated to building strong, happy relationships at home. And home has a knack for revealing the truth of our relationships.

Not many people will remember the custom-made blinds on their deathbed, but the memories of the people they loved, they will. Let’s make sure we give ourselves the time to nurture our relationships.

Hours can be easily lost scrolling, looking at homes where everything is organised and put away, kitchens big enough to fit a football team in, and so goddamn stylish you want/need that too. But comparing your home to someone else's is the worst thing we can do.

We have no insight into the backstory, how long it took to get there, or what sacrifices were made. We also aren’t shown the full picture, the bin, dog bed, water bottles, all hidden out of sight, but they are there unless they don’t move, eat, shower, or wear clothes.

My advice is that the sooner you reduce your social media intake, the sooner you’ll be happier at home. Most of us feel that Substack is a safe space from advertising, but at every turn, there seems to be an affiliate link. I get it, money needs to be made, but resist pressing it if you can.

Instead of making decisions based on someone else’s opinion, what you think you should do, or what might get compliments, shift your focus to the people in your home, including yourself first, and it will change everything.

We all have emotional needs; it’s what makes us human. Without understanding them, every decision about your home can feel like guesswork, which is why so many people strive for the wrong things, thinking that will make them happy instead. Homes then become a source of stress rather than somewhere to feel safe, loved and happy.

Homes do not need to be perfect, but they can be the place where these needs are met. Rather than scanning rooms for everything that needs fixing or thinking about what could be bought to make it look better, we can choose to look at them differently. I appreciate how my home looks, but I hold far more value in what it does for us as a family.

The decor has faded into the background, and all of us living mentally healthy and happy lives is the focus.

Our home won’t make it into an interiors magazine, been there, done that, and it definitely didn’t make me happy. Things are left out and not rushed to be put away, some of our furniture has seen better days, and the seating layout might look odd, but we can all see each other’s faces in each seat, so we don’t care.

Home makes us feel safe. We all have somewhere quiet when we want to be alone. We have rooms and places designed to bring us all back together. We all make decisions about home. We all invite friends over. We all feel valued here. We share our good and bads here. We have fun here. We are all happy here.

My home is enough. Is yours?

Thank you for reading it means a lot! Drop a heart if you liked this post, leave a comment, and do re-stack if you found it useful, as that really helps with visibility. Subscribe if you haven’t already, so you don’t miss any new posts.

Claire x.

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Flicking through Elle Deco, seeing this home got me thinking. Cream walls, cream furniture, cream rugs. Stunning to photograph, but what must it feel like to live there? Yes, it’s been tidied within an inch of its life for the shoot, but it is a home for a family with two small children and a dog. Not that you can tell, as all signs of life have been eradicated.

What happens when the reality of everyday life does infiltrate those perfectly curated boundaries? Because life must happen, right? I assume that having kids and pets, you can’t avoid the inevitable that they bring.

Some people claim to love living like this, but I have my doubts. If they were grilled, do you think they’d buckle and admit to loving more colours than just white? A home that strict has little wiggle room for life to happen. Possibly, only looking this good before someone visits, or if it does look like this more often, how much work or nagging needs to happen to maintain it.

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I’ve been there and bought the t-shirt, and from my experience, I spent so much time curating my house that it left little time for life to happen there. Let me tell you, IT IS HARD WORK.

Everything becomes a challenge to what you allow into your house. Kids’ art from school, nope, gifts despite loving but wrong aesthetic, nope. Even tea towels and dishcloths are under scrutiny. I even found myself contemplating which types of food to buy based on their packaging and whether they would fit in. Again, caps on to reiterate THIS IS NOT LIVING.

Keeping your home so it looks like no one lives there is extreme, but there is a real disconnect between how people think they live and how they actually live. Pretending they don’t eat, make a mess, receive post, wash clothes or have kids.

As a designer, I see this disconnect constantly, and I’ve only had a handful of clients who have a firm understanding of what they need from their homes; the rest? Completely delusional. Designing homes for the life they think, or wish they had. A life where no one uses anything, let alone lies on the sofa all day watching TV and eating snacks.

Why are signs of life considered flaws? Has social media created Curated Life Syndrome? Where faces don’t age, homes don’t get used, and lives are perfect. The real truth, hiding in plain sight.

What’s wrong with living our lives as they are? Messy, complicated yet beautiful. You only get one, and it would be such a shame to waste it with strict, pointless rules on how to decorate your home. We have real lives that need real things, and no one should feel guilty for that, but pretending we don’t can trip us up.

1. Here’s what we only need from a home:

• Lockable doors and windows

• Watertight walls and roof

• Running water and heating

• Something to sleep on

• Somewhere to cook

• Somewhere to eat together

• Somewhere to bathe

• Each other

2. Here’s what modern life adds:

• Somewhere to watch TV - together and separately

• Somewhere to work/study

• Somewhere for guests who only visit a few times a year

• Somewhere to wash and dry clothes

• Somewhere to play/exercise

• Somewhere to store clothes, toys, baby equipment, Christmas decorations, bikes, hobby equipment, craft supplies, wrapping paper, recycling, lawnmower, gardening kit, car, tools, DIY stuff, extra food, cleaning products, coats, shoes, bags, bed linen, towels, toiletries, spare loo roll, and all the other things we don’t want to throw away

3. Here’s what reality adds:

• Babies need stuff, cots, prams, pushchairs, high chairs, playmats, the list goes on. Babies grow into teenagers who need different stuff

• Kids are messy. Partners/housemates are messy. We are messy

• We own more pairs of shoes than feet. We own more clothes than bodies

• We like tech stuff

• Dogs will happily poo, eat it, then puke it up on the floor/sofa/bed, roll in mud/poo or drag their bottoms along your favourite rug

• We drop and spill things. Things break

• Wet clothes need to dry

• Life outside the home is busy, so we don’t always have time to tidy up

• Kids bring home art made of glitter, pasta, and junk.

• Kids love to run, jump, spin. Their friends comeover who also run, jump, and spin

• People visit. People give us gifts

• We make mistakes. We get ill. Life changes

• Homes cost money to maintain

The trick to creating rather than curating a home is to focus on the people first, not a look or a photo. Start with a dose of reality with a side of self-awareness. What do you really need from your home? Every design choice needs to be rooted in the daily routines of everyone who lives there.

Apparently, only 15% of us are properly self-aware, so you might have to dig deep to be honest about how you actually live and who you live with. It often helps to notice what your values and beliefs are around home, too.

Do they work for you, or are they even true? Check whether your values, beliefs and reality match; are there any discrepancies?

Example:

Belief - A tidy home is a happy home. Value - My family’s happiness comes first. Reality - You have 4 kids, two dogs and a messy partner. Hobbies include guitar, football, piano, drawing, gaming, cooking and watching Marvel films.

What will need to happen to keep a tidy home? Will it make your family happy to see you clean, tidy and get stressed when shoes get kicked off, and bags are dropped on the floor?

This doesn’t mean your home can’t be beautiful - it absolutely can. But admitting how you live will make life run far more smoothly and honestly than trying to hide it.

Tip:

Work out what you need to live your life at home (the real one, not a curated one). Here's what this looks like in practice. This is my list, what we do at home, what each activity needs, where it happens and where any kit lives.

It’s not sexy. But it’s honest. And it means nothing’s a surprise, everything we love and need to do has a place. It all can happen without pretending it doesn’t, consciously woven into our homelife.

Paying attention to how you use your home will reveal what works or what’s needed to help you live your life.

Your home should embrace your actual life, not fight against it, and should look like you live there. Because you do.

I’d love it if you liked and shared this post. And if you haven’t subscribed, please follow along for more.

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So, Kendall Jenner’s new home is in this month’s AD… have you seen it? It’s had lots of us talking (debatable how much is Kendall’s taste or her designer, Heidi Caillier) but yes, it is lovely. If you haven’t seen it, she has the most heavenly sofa in a soft chintzy floral that screams “I want one”, rather than “ugh, my Nan had that in the ’80s”, cute mid-century side tables dotted around, retro paintings and the prettiest floral crockery. BUT the really interesting thing is she attributes her newfound design confidence to the fact that it’s her second home. Imagine if we could approach our homes with the same confidence.

“I felt like there was a lot less pressure because it’s a secondary home. It was really fun for my creative side to just be like, you know what? I’m just gonna go for it and do things differently here.”

Despite saying, “I’m not a bare-bones type of girl. I love color, and I love pattern,” the mountain home is a stark contrast to her LA home, which is a pared-back, minimal style with little colour or pattern she openly loves. The style difference is obvious, and it shows how a low-stakes mindset can completely change how you decorate.

Some of us already embrace the low-stakes decorating approach without realising. We’ll happily lean into our braver, more creative side in a downstairs loo or a spare room, or in Kendall’s case, her second home, because the risk of failure feels lower. Here’s the psychology behind it:

• Loss aversion: When we think we can get it wrong, we default to safer choices.

• Social comparison: The more visible a room feels, there’s more pressure to gain approval.

• Choice overload: Too many options increase anxiety and decision paralysis.

• Perfectionism: When self-worth is tied to getting things right, mistakes feel threatening rather than neutral.

• Fear: Fear narrows our thinking and pushes us toward familiarity and avoidance rather than creativity.

It’s easy to see why rooms not used that often, or the downstairs loo, can feel safer to decorate and make excuses for if we feel we’re being judged. Kendall has a get-out clause if someone criticises her new home, as it’s just her second home. Once we recognise these patterns, decorating becomes less about playing it safe and more about genuinely expressing ourselves.

The Harmonious Home Approach to nailing low-stakes decorating

The biggest thing holding most of us back from decorating all of our homes with a low-stakes mindset isn’t money or time. It’s confidence and self-trust. Can we trust ourselves to make the right decision? When we don’t, fear shows up, “What if I get it wrong?” And to compensate, we make safer choices or copy someone else’s taste, because it feels safer and less risky than putting ourselves out there and doing what we really want to do.

Following trends or someone else’s vision may make decisions simpler in the moment, but it leaves you chasing the next trend, rather than creating a home that you love and reflects you. When we trust ourselves, we make confident choices that we are less likely to change.

Building self-trust comes from knowing, respecting and listening to yourself. You don’t need constant external validation because you’ve already validated yourself.

Here’s how to build self-trust:

1. Self-love - Check how you're talking to yourself. Be kind and catch any negative thoughts.

2. Self-awareness – Be curious! Learn what genuinely brings you joy. The more you know yourself, the more confidence you’ll have in your choices.

3. Intuition – Listen to yourself. Your instincts are your North Star, and learning to trust them strengthens confidence over time. *Be sure to listen to the right voice.

4. Self-expression – Your home only needs to make sense to you. Want gaming chairs instead of a sofa? Go for it. A totally pink house? Your home, your choice.

5. Values and beliefs – Work out your values and beliefs, and that they align. When your choices reflect what matters most, decisions feel easier and purposeful.

*Intuition is calm and steady; it respects you, it doesn’t attack your self-worth, and it simply guides you. Fear and Anxiety are urgent and loud, it is critical and pushes you to dramatic what ifs, and circles round and round in your head.

How to start designing confidently:

1. People first– Who will use the room, and what kind of connection do you want to create? cosy snuggles or chatting and catching up?

2. Purpose and feeling – Once you know how you want to connect there, what function does it need to serve to achieve that connection? What atmosphere do you need to make that happen? Knowing your why behind a room narrows down what you really need and keeps decisions focused.

3. Choose what you love - Embrace personal taste over trends. Buying what you genuinely love rather than what you should, won’t go out of date.

4. Display what matters – Don’t buy ‘props’ for styling. Surround yourself with items that have personal meaning and make you happy. Show the things you love and that represent you and the people who live there.

5. Be as sustainable as possible - Buy vintage and support local or small makers. Antique furniture is often better made than mass-produced pieces and adds stories and identity to your home.

Follow your instincts, replace fear with curiosity, and doubt with trust. Every choice you make, no matter how small, will build confidence and strengthen your self-trust. Over time, all decorating will feel low-stakes, and you’ll naturally make confident choices that reflect your life and the people who live there, creating a home that feels intentional and personal.

Examples of vintage furniture and accessories at far more affordable prices than new. Keeping beautiful pieces with far more stories to hold out of landfill.

Of course, I agree, a home should reflect the owner, but I’ve always found this advice slightly awkward. What does that really mean? What would a true reflection of me look like? Who even am I?

A few years ago, I spent some time in therapy to help unpick a recurring issue that, probably comes as no surprise, was a product of my childhood. Therapy helped me with many things, but it also revealed that I wasn’t in tune with myself… at all, no clue.

I grew up in a home where I learnt from a very young age that emotions were not good. Often berated for being sad, and berated for being happy, too. So, I stayed neutral, somewhere in the middle, where I could hide the parts of me I knew my parents wouldn’t like.

Fear prevented me from sharing my true self, the things I loved, even what I didn’t. Brené Brown sums this up perfectly: “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” As an adult, the inability to express myself continued. I’d muted my voice for so long, and with that, my self-expression too.

My home pre-therapy, where colour and self-expression were avoided for the risk of judgment.

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I’ve always been extremely envious and in awe of anyone who can confidently fill a home with the things they love. Sadly, I don’t think that many of us can. Post-therapy, I now recognise the pattern of muted self-expression in other people and how following the crowd creates a feeling of safety in numbers. Instagram is full of well-known interior designers repeating the same look, colours, and furniture for every client, despite each one having different needs and lifestyles.

Over the years, my clients have shared their renovation plans, which 99% consist of a Pinterest board and Instagram screenshots of homes they covet. I approach their unknowing exactly how I tackled my own. I build their confidence to trust themselves. I dig a little deeper, gently questioning their intention and reassuring them it’s their home, and it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. We work through what they really love, how they really live, and what they really need.

To ignore the constant hum of what’s cool or the latest thing to buy, and understand ourselves well enough to express and share what we love takes oodles of self-confidence, self-trust and self-awareness. Having our emotional needs met in childhood sets us on the right path. A child given some level of autonomy in their life grows up learning to trust themselves. Their confidence gradually building so they can follow their own lead, regardless of what others think.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a process to help us reach our full potential and make use of our talents and abilities. Self-actualisation is the hardest need to meet, and Maslow himself believed that most of us cannot fulfil it. But I think with self-awareness, we can all get there, each step at a time, regardless of our childhoods.

Maslow highlighted the steps needed to fulfil before we can reach our full potential.

Self-awareness is knowing what you’re feeling and why. The ability to observe and objectively evaluate your own thoughts, manage your emotions, match your behaviours with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you, as it’s happening, not just on reflection. Self-awareness is a fundamental tool for self-control and is a skill most of us think we have, but the reality is far lower. Research reveals that 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but the real number is as low as 12 to 15%

Curiosity is the secret to becoming self-aware. By stepping back and observing myself and the world around me, I learnt so much more about myself. Every time I had a feeling, thought, or habit I found I repeated unconsciously, I noted it.

It took time, but it changed everything. I could finally recognise what genuinely brought me joy and what didn’t. I made better decisions, as I knew myself. I was finally in touch with what mattered most to me. Self-awareness helped me switch from being externally driven, “What will people think?” to being internally aligned, “What do I need? What feels good and right for me?” I stopped needing constant external validation because I’d built self-trust from knowing, respecting and listening to myself.

If I find myself drawn to make an impulse purchase or if I’m copying someone else’s home, I check in with myself:

• Do I really like it?

• Is my attraction genuine, or am I influenced by trends, social media, or someone else?

• Does this feel like me?

• Would I still choose this if no one else saw it?

• How does it make me feel? Calm, happy, inspired or anxious, pressured, or overstimulated?

• Does it serve my life? Is it practical, functional, or supportive of my lifestyle?

• Am I buying to impress, or will it genuinely enhance my life?

• Am I repeating a pattern? Am I drawn to this because it’s familiar?

• Would I still choose it in five years? Does this have staying power, or is it an impulse/temporary appeal?

• Am I aware of my internal dialogue right now? Notice any fear, ego, or comparison influencing the choice.

To build confidence in your own style, make smaller choices that don’t feel so consequential. People often feel comfortable expressing themselves more bravely in their downstairs loo, feeling less pressured to be perfect in there while they keep the rest of the house simple and pared back. But I’d suggest starting with something simpler, tea towels, paper napkins, or displaying something you’ve hidden away that you love but fear it doesn’t quite fit in.

I love colour, but was always afraid to use it. To build my confidence, I bought affordable furniture from auction sites to paint in colours I loved. The stakes were low if I made a mistake.

Lets be honest, I still wasn’t going wild, but slowly I was building my confidence.

Make conscious choices to surround yourself with the things that make your heart sing. Then, be honest about the things that make you feel a bit meh when you look at them. Remove these at your own pace. Slowly, slowly build your self-trust, and in turn, your confidence will grow, and before long, you will have a home that reflects who you are.

This isn’t decluttering. This is making conscious decisions that will build self-trust. Be honest and do not judge yourself.

My tip: if you love something, it will never be the wrong decision. Making decisions based on pleasing someone or something else will never feel right and you’ll be looking to replace it far sooner than if you knew and trusted yourself.

Self-expression will bring us far more happiness than following a trend or copying someone else’s version of home. Always check what your intention is. Is it external or internal validation?

This was my home during my therapy, I don’t live here anymore. It’s still quite reserved, but my confidence was growing as I was getting to know and trust myself a little more.

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Thank you for your reading. Claire x